If you’re a guy reading this, do yourself a favor right now & stop reading. It’s about to get real… messy. Period.
Periods suck. I don’t know one woman who enjoys being on her period. We get bloated, we experience cramping, we have to deal with the mess of cups, tampons, pads, fem wipes, bloody fingers, odors and more. And if that weren’t enough, we have very little control over it. “Aunt Flo” comes once a month, unless you’re pregnant or nursing or Post-menapausal (which entails challenges of its own, so I’ve heard!) And if you’re a miscarriage mommy, periods suck even more, because not only are they physically not fun, they are like salt in an open wound… EVERY TIME you go to the bathroom. Allow me to explain.
Each time I️ miscarried, it felt like my body had betrayed me. It was doing something I didn’t want it to do, and I hated for doing it. I hated my body because for whatever reason, it failed me in carrying out babies to full term. And instead, it expelled them from the safe & loving home they had within my body. My womb had become their tomb and the bleeding was the stark reminder of my body betraying me. Every month’s period after that leading up to what would’ve been that baby’s due date was torture – a cold reminder that I wasn’t pregnant anymore.
Most women have some kind of emotional crash before or during their period… it’s a result of Progesterone levels dropping, which induces the shedding of the uterine lining when no baby has been conceived to implant in it. Regardless of when this low is experienced, it’s REAL because of the drastic change in hormones (just another aspect of periods we have little to no control over). Now multiply that by infinity, and that’s how alone a mother feels when she’s hemorrhaging, hormonal, and NOT pregnant anymore.
So how does one handle these post-Miscarriage woes when already overwhelmed? Me personally, I bought a Diva Cup. You heard me right – my choice was to “switch it up” and try to make my period “different & exciting” by ditching the pads and tampons and trying a menstrual cup instead. Did it distract me a little from the pain of being on a period when I was supposed to be pregnant? A little. Did it help me ignore that I was on my period for longer chunks of time than I could while using pads or tampons? Yes. Did it heal my broken heart? Not even close.
The good news is now, 2.5yrs out from our last miscarriage, my periods don’t hurt me emotionally anymore. I’m extremely disappointed when I get my period because we are TTC, but the period bleeding itself doesn’t trigger PTSD-like symptoms anymore. I’m no longer scared I’m going to bleed out & die from severe hemorrhaging. I’m no longer terrified that my body is going to pass baseball sized clots on any particular period. I’m no longer devastated & depressed to the point of not wanting to leave the house.
The saying goes “time heals all wounds,” and although as believers, we know God is our ultimate healer, I do believe He uses time to give us perspective and heal our minds, bodies, and souls… even while on our period.
And PS – I’m NOT on my period right now lol!
Hope and Healing 