As a newlywed young wife, I was blissfully naive to the challenges of infertility and loss. Although my mother had suffered multiple miscarriages in my childhood, I thought getting pregnant and carrying to term would be easy. It was a rude awakening when we miscarried our first baby and I became the 1 in the statistic that “1 in 4 women” lose a child. The innocent gift of naivety was gone along with my baby.
The fear and anxiety I had with our second pregnancy was palpable, but I refused to allow it to become all consuming. I fought with all my might to stay mentally disciplined and think full-term, positive thoughts. We were blessed to carry our son LJ to 40 weeks and deliver a healthy baby boy (somehow he’s now 6.5yrs old!)
When he was 9months old, we discovered we were pregnant yet again. Following on the heels of a full-term pregnancy, I thought we could carry to term again. But I was mistaken… not once, but three times in a row as we miscarried three times in 18months.
What happened in the process was something I couldn’t have predicted. The gift of blind trust and naive thinking was traded for a gift much greater. The gift of perspective.
Although I would love to have our 4 little saints with us on this Earth, because they are not, I understand how miraculous every single pregnancy is. I celebrate the birth of every single baby. I recognize the gift of ALL human lives.
Miscarriage mommies all have this in common – they don’t take their pregnancies or their babies for granted (not saying that mommies who haven’t experienced a miscarriage do.) But in a particular way miscarriage mommies know and appreciate what they have because they know and recognize what they have lost. This is the blessing, and the curse, of the gift they have been given… the gift of perspective.
Hope and Healing 