The 10th

It is no secret that I’m a control freak. As in a full blown Type A, come up with plan A, B, C and even Q to be prepared for anything so I can control as many aspects of the situation as possible. And well when it came to when I was going to go into labor with JP, it was no different.

I had all the possible “options” (aka my preferences) all lined up!

Oct 30th – Anniversary of one of our miscarriages – this would be perfect redemption.

Nov 1st – All Saints – this would be the perfect gift from our little saints in Heaven

Nov 2nd – All Souls – this would be the most beautiful day to bring another soul into this world and pray for those in the next

Nov 4th – our Pastors bday – this would be perfect to give tribute and thanks to a man who has prayed us through our entire fertility journey?

Nov 7th or 9th – the days before or after LJs birthday – this would be the perfect answer to LJs prayer to not share his bday but to have back to back bdays

Nov. 11th – the anniversary of my Grandpa Joe’s death – this would be perfect to bring our Joseph into this world in a day so close to his namesake

and well… no luck on any of those days! Nope, God had other plans. And that whole “Gods timing is perfect” saying? Turns out it’s true!

Our Joseph Patrick was born in November 10th, EXACTLY 10 months after our ectopic pregnancy ended! January 10th was the day we found out our baby Leon was in my right fallopian tube, which was about to burst, and we had surgery that night to remove the tube & subsequently the pregnancy. (No this is not considered an abortion, but rather a procedure to save the mother’s life. More about the church’s teaching about what’s licit in this situation in a post to follow). We’ve always recognized January 10th as Leon’s Heavenly birthday & have also shared with many that “we conceived 1 month after our ectopic… with only 1 tube!”

Now to explain just HOW miraculous this is, you must understand that Jake and I had been trying for 6 years (since our last miscarriage) get pregnant. And if it hadn’t happened in 6 years with TWO tubes, what were the chances that it’d ever happen with only 1 tube?!?!?!

I remember the Lord asking me in prayer, as I rumbled and complained begrudgingly after that loss, “do you think having only 1 tube is an obstacle for me?” Um YEAH I thought to myself… but really I was humbled thinking of the verse “for nothing shall be impossible with God.” (BTW – that verse was spoken to Mary in regards to her old cousin Elizabeth, who was barren when the Lord was informing her she was 6 months pregnant! Aka – that verse was in regards to an infertile woman conceiving!!!) Anyway, I digress…

The Lord revealed His power to us in a VERY REAL, tangible way, when we conceived – without any hormones, without any meds, and without really “trying” – just 1 month after a loss… and with only 1 tube!!!

Throughout JPs pregnancy, however much I thought about Leon, and if he were still here, we wouldn’t be carrying JP, I kind of forgot about the 10th. In fact, I even forgot to celebrate or commemorate what would have been Leon’s due date, which is something I never forget! And even leading into November, I never even considered the 10th as a cool or good option for our due date. After JP was born I even prayed “Lord, maybe someday you’ll reveal to me why Joseph had to come on the 10th,” not thinking anything of it.

Until our son was about two weeks old and I was praying while nursing, and it hit me like a ton of bricks! THE TENTH!!!! Oh my gosh – JP was literally born 10 months TO THE DAY, since our ectopic!!! Conception 1 month after ectopic & then 9 months gestation = 10 months !!! (Insert Maria super humbled and sheepishly approaching the Lord in prayer)

And it wasn’t like God shamed me or guilted me for wondering “why the 10th.” He knows how He made me… and that I have questions, and doubts, and control issues 🤪 and yet He delights in showing up and surprising me & blessing me in big ways over and over again! So until my dying day, I will remember and be grateful that despite my efforts to control what day our little son arrived, that the Lord had better and more perfect plans for us. What a good lesson for us all to learn!